Great gig at Sweetwaters last night! One of my favorite places to play now! In fact, the Rush vs Yes gang wants to make this club our home base. Excellent sound including an excellent soundman. We were completely taken care of, and when a band is taken care of they go right to work. We put 150% into this show and it showed. Lots of video, pictures and a hell of a lot of fun. I had a note on my stand that night to remind me of 4 affirmations I wanted to carry inside of me.
NO PERFORMING ————
I took this opportunity to just be me and not try to push the muse out off the stage. It was a reminder to play, have fun.
NOTHING TO PROVE ————
This let me off the hook of having to over compensate for the large critic that talks within my head and always wants to show himself right when I am singing. I have been in this business long enough to know that some people are not going to get me. This let me let go of any “shoulds” that were wandering around. I did have to look at this affirmation quite a lot throughout the night…
IS THAT TRUE? ————
Recently I have been looking at the old imprinting in my head. This imprinting is decades old especially during the 80s image days of when I tried so hard to fit into the mold of what I was seeing on MTV. Back then I tried to sound like the records I was vocally copying never thinking that most of the vocals were cleaned up sort of like the photoshopped images we see today. It never dawned on me back then that many artists when performing live did not sound like their records even though I saw many of them give cringe worthy performances. It wasn’t until I started recording in the studios that this became clear. At the gig I noticed a few wrong notes come out of my mouth and asked myself, yeah, is that true? I gave myself a resounding “YES, wrong note,” but let it go as a gift to the Gods that I am still in the unfolding process.
WATCH THE MOVIE ————
As I start to work with Human Design I am reminded to take a back seat and become the witness to what is happening in the moment. Ra Uru Hu is constantly asking us to watch the movie. This was the first time I had tried this and I must say it was spectacular. During moments when I was not singing I would step back and observe. I saw beautiful faces, beaming, singing, with so much joy, people playing air guitar, throwing their arms and hands up into the air. I felt that I was a reflection of their joy, that it was their joy that was fueling me as if they were on the stage and I was in the audience, watching. Those moments were surreal and I experienced time slowing down. In my body I felt a movement of attention that went from my head to my heart. I thought I might burst open.
Matt Granz shot some beautiful pictures of us.